The Matchmaker
How would you like to have your life-partner chosen for you? Though many modern-day young people in Japan have adopted Western ideas about love and marriage, a great many still prefer to have their mates chosen for them. In fact, until World War II, love marriages were almost unheard of.
"I only saw my husband once before the ceremony and then I was too bashful to really look at him," a lady once confided. This was not an isolated case, but just the way it was done in old-time Japan. Today's match-making has been modernized.
Naturally, the "matchmaker" is a very important person. Not just anybody cares to be responsible for a marriage. It just might not work out and he would be to blame. So this is taken as a serious job. After all, the future of two young people is at stake. And 2 families are seriously involved.
A matchmaker is called a "nakodo." Actually, a "middle person." A go-between. He is usually selected by the parents of one eligible party. Sometimes this is a couple, and if so, the wisdom of both husband and wife is combined.
A matchmaker's first job is to get a picture and history of his "client" and then set out to find a suitable partner. Family backgrounds, educational factors, character, hobbies and work are thoroughly looked into for both sides. When a likely couple emerges, each is given a picture and resume of the other person. A date is set for them to meet. One or both, in today's culture, may reject the choice. If agreeable, however, they begin dating and eventually an engagement party with elaborate gifts follows. In all this, as well as in the up-coming wedding, the matchmaker is very active.
One man, Mr. Ishizaka, was a professional matchmaker for 45 years. Now in his seventies, he claims to have arranged some 3,000 weddings and boasts that only 5 ended in divorce.
Ishizaka began as a traveling salesman of lacquer ware, but as he moved about the Islands, he was often asked to find a suitable partner for someone. Thus began a professional career in which he has few peers. It also highly qualifies him to speak about Oriental marriages.
One secret of arranging a good wedding, according to Mr. Ishizaka, is "total honesty." One partner should not be overly played up. And also, though a man may be poor, but has possibilities, he must not be shrugged off.
According to this experienced matchmaker, girls tend to want a man with good scholastic standing, while a man looks for beauty. Japanese believe that love will develop after the wedding.
Before the war, Mr. Ishizaka traveled as far as Singapore, China and Formosa, and after the war even to New York to arrange marriages. And he's still on the lookout for partners today. He carries personal records and photographs of more than 300 prospective partners.
"I only saw my husband once before the ceremony and then I was too bashful to really look at him," a lady once confided. This was not an isolated case, but just the way it was done in old-time Japan. Today's match-making has been modernized.
Naturally, the "matchmaker" is a very important person. Not just anybody cares to be responsible for a marriage. It just might not work out and he would be to blame. So this is taken as a serious job. After all, the future of two young people is at stake. And 2 families are seriously involved.
A matchmaker is called a "nakodo." Actually, a "middle person." A go-between. He is usually selected by the parents of one eligible party. Sometimes this is a couple, and if so, the wisdom of both husband and wife is combined.
A matchmaker's first job is to get a picture and history of his "client" and then set out to find a suitable partner. Family backgrounds, educational factors, character, hobbies and work are thoroughly looked into for both sides. When a likely couple emerges, each is given a picture and resume of the other person. A date is set for them to meet. One or both, in today's culture, may reject the choice. If agreeable, however, they begin dating and eventually an engagement party with elaborate gifts follows. In all this, as well as in the up-coming wedding, the matchmaker is very active.
One man, Mr. Ishizaka, was a professional matchmaker for 45 years. Now in his seventies, he claims to have arranged some 3,000 weddings and boasts that only 5 ended in divorce.
Ishizaka began as a traveling salesman of lacquer ware, but as he moved about the Islands, he was often asked to find a suitable partner for someone. Thus began a professional career in which he has few peers. It also highly qualifies him to speak about Oriental marriages.
One secret of arranging a good wedding, according to Mr. Ishizaka, is "total honesty." One partner should not be overly played up. And also, though a man may be poor, but has possibilities, he must not be shrugged off.
According to this experienced matchmaker, girls tend to want a man with good scholastic standing, while a man looks for beauty. Japanese believe that love will develop after the wedding.
Before the war, Mr. Ishizaka traveled as far as Singapore, China and Formosa, and after the war even to New York to arrange marriages. And he's still on the lookout for partners today. He carries personal records and photographs of more than 300 prospective partners.
posted by Lila @ 12:30 PM
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